On the bright side: I did get a high BBT yesterday, the day following my low one. (For those of you who don't know - the subtleties of a woman's temperature reading upon first waking in the morning can indicate where she is in her menstrual cycle. A higher temperature means hormones are shifting towards supporting a pregnancy. Lower readings mean hormones have shifted toward supporting menstruation. But it's not an exact science, and you're right, Emily, I'm stopping. In fact, I've stopped.
And I refuse to run to the doctor for blood tests to see if my pregnancy hormones are doubling as they should be. Nor will I run for an ultrasound the minute I'm pregnant enough (assuming I do become pregnant enough) to see a heartbeat. I've been down that road before and found temporary reassurance, only to be utterly devastated a few days or weeks later.
Instead, I will distract myself when I can, call upon support from friends and family when I can't, and move forward through my days trying to straddle two possible futures. I said to J~ last night, We did it again, we created a life. Who knows how long it will last, but we did that and it's amazing in and of itself. I will try to be grateful that I've been given another chance.
And yes, MC, I am taking the baby aspirin this time.
As always, I will keep you posted!