|Surviving Chemo #4. More of my videos here.|
I was just looking over an old blog post written during the crisis of an impending divorce, titled How to Get Through Hell. In it, I wrote a list of five tips for weathering a crisis. Rereading, I would venture that these five things do indeed apply to more than one kind of crisis. It boils down to the one skill I keep harping on here: asking for help.
People keep telling me how I strong I am but I'm afraid I'm not showing the whole picture. I am not doing this, not any of it, alone. Much of my illusion of endurance comes from daily meltdowns along the way.
There's more than one kind of strength. There's the strength to swim through a lonely and stormy ocean. And there's the strength to flail your arms and shamelessly shout for help at the top of your lungs. The point is to get out of the water and survive. There's no wrong way to do that.
Let's face it, there are very few crises that we must endure alone. It makes little sense to quietly drown out of reticence to bother the lifeguard, or to slog on in solitude through any rough patch when help is within earshot.
Of course it's nice to be a strong swimmer. But asking for help is strength too. Both forms of strength are good to have. So flail your arms and shout. Throw yourself onto your bed and cry. Whatever it takes. And then, when you're done, take the next step along the path out of hell.