Friday, February 04, 2011

Three Down

Chemo #3. Earrings were a gift from B~, my chemo nurse. She made them herself.

I quit the Avastin trial today. More bad press put me over the edge. The doctors I talk to are passionate about this experimental treatment but I have been on the fence. They've seen amazing things happen - in SOME people, and serious side effects rarely, and only in people with other health problems complicating the picture. Coming from a place of fear for my ultimate survival, it seemed worth the risk. But then again, I don't always want to come from that place.

It was an emotional decision. It is very hard to walk away from anything that might just maybe save my life. I can't say I'm 100% confident in my choice, but this walk away felt right.

And this time my night-of side effects are significantly milder than they were the first two cycles. Almost no nausea, no heartburn either. Just tired. Going to bed soon.

I had M, K, and G with J and I at chemo today, and their presence made the whole thing almost fun. Came home to a gift of food left by P, and then a visit, and more food brought by W later in the evening.

One last thought:

Buddies are good.

Millie agrees.


Anonymous said...

I love the earrings and I like the scarf, too. And I dearly love the person wearing them. Glad you are three down, and hoping to see you this week. XO, Mom

megan said...

I hope you feel better, less tired, etc., soon.

Anonymous said...

It sounds like you made the right decision. If the Avastin only helped and caused no incremental harm--great--but it was posing a risk and you already have chemo on board. And you are going to do radiation too, right?

Big hugs from sunny California.