Friday, January 13, 2006

How to Get Through Hell

It's been just five and a half days since my world turned upside-down, and as hard as it's been and I'm sure will continue to be, there have been tremendous shifts for the better, physically, emotionally, mentally, you name it. Here's what I've figured out so far:

Get support from people in your life. Let the people who love you help. Let them touch you, especially if it makes you cry. Be alone only when it's good for you. Otherwise, at least get someone on the phone. Keep in mind: everyone wants closer relationships, closer friendships, people they can go to in a crisis. Don't be shy about calling on people you've never called on before in hard times. You're breaking the ice, which they'll appreciate, and feel honored that you thought so highly of them as to offer your trust. But then again, some just can't handle it, and that's okay too.

Take care of your body. It may be hard to eat and sleep (believe me, I know!), but do your best. Drink lots of water. Get a massage, fresh air, exercise. When it's just too damned awful to bear, pay attention to your breathing. In. Out. This too shall pass.

Get professional help.
Find a support group, invest in therapy. Whatever you're going through, others have been through too, and there are people who know what it's like and how to help.

Knowledge is power. We can never know what the future holds, but we can know our rights and we can know our options. The wild unknowns create an awful lot of tension. You have the power to tame them.

Trust you gut. If something isn't helping, it isn't helping.

Relinquish control. The pain you feel needs to move through you in order to get out of you. Attempting to control the situation or control others in order to lessen it won't help. Controlling yourself -- trying not to cry, pretending you're fine, running away from the feelings -- won't help either. It will do you no good to deny that it hurts as much as it does.

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