Tuesday, January 03, 2006

It's Like a Drug

I have a confession to make.

I know I should get my period tomorrow, and I never doubted I would, because we didn't even try this month. In fact, we tried NOT to get pregnant, just to give me a little more time to recover from the miscarriage. But when the acupuncturist I spoke to on the phone asked if I might be pregnant now (and I told her it's highly doubtful) she didn't flinch. "You never know," she chirped. I insisted that it was really REALLY highly doubtful, but she would not be moved.

So now I keep thinking about it. Though there are no symptoms to reinforce the dream, and I've got that heavy-gut feeling I always get before I start to bleed, I keep imagining that I'm pregnant.

Of course, I know I'm not. I couldn't be.

Could I?

That's the thing about trying to conceive. It doesn't take much to get caught up in the hype.

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