|On the couch, day after chemo #2, receiving my daily infusion of vitamin L(ove) from Millie.|
I stood in the shower for a long time, partly because every time I ran my hands through my hair, they came away coated in hair, individual strands and little clumps. Better out now, I figured, than in my hat or on my pillow later, so I ran my hands through over and over again. Eventually I gave up, as no slow-down seemed forthcoming. I did the same with pubic hair, and sure enough, plenty of that was shedding too.
It's not until you join the cancer club, I think, that you find out that this is part of it; that not only do you lose the hair on your head but also all over your body. I've read many cancer folks talking about how little they appreciate their nose hairs until they lose them. Apparently you get a constantly runny nose without them. I've also read that on the drugs I'm taking, I will lose eyelashes and eyebrows, but not until the very end of treatment.
In the mirror on the way out of the locker room, I checked my head for signs of impending baldness - it's not too obvious yet. Is this what it feels like to be a man with thinning, receding hair, do you look in the mirror and try to imagine what you will look like bald? Whether or not you can reconcile yourself to the imminent new you? I suppose we all do this with aspects of aging...
It is coming to my attention that this blog needs some updating. My links are all out of date and geared toward fertility stuff. I won't get rid of these, but I need to add a section about cancer. I have books and resources to recommend to people fighting cancer and to those that want to support them, and I will get on it as soon as I feel like it, which will hopefully be very soon.