|Dreams do come true. More of my videos here.|
I was supposed to get my final chemotherapy treatment today. No such luck. I'm having weakness in my left hand and wrist, and my feet are increasingly numb. CIPN (Chemotherapy Induced Peripheral Neuropathy) or too much cycling last weekend, or a combination of the two are to blame. Oh well.
What else can I say? I don't know if I'm risking my overall survival in favor of comfortable typing, keeping my fingers together when I swim the crawl, and one-handed bicycle gear shifting. But it's not up to me. I tell the doctor what I'm experiencing as accurately and honestly as I can, and she makes the call. Though I trust myself as the expert on my own body, I trust her more when it comes to this. She's seen what happens to other people, I have not.
I'm supposed to call in to report my symptoms on Monday.
What happens after that? It's yet to be determined.
A friend of mine from high school, a co-inhabitant of Planet Cancer, wrote me last night to tell me she's in the hospital. (She has breast cancer too; we have the same oncologist. I made this video about her.)
She had a seizure on Tuesday. They've found a tumor in her brain. Because of this progression of the disease, she can no longer continue with an experimental drug that seemed to be keeping the cancer in check in other parts of her body. On the bright side, she tells me, she will no longer have to travel several times a week to Boston for treatment.
Next stop: cyber-knife, targeted radiation to the brain. After that? It's yet to be determined.
We spoke on the phone this morning and we're in agreement. It's the not knowing that's the hardest part.
In the meantime, we grieve our losses and enjoy whatever blessings we're offered.
There are no straight roads in life. The twists come when you least expect them. But hopefully the road is long and you can take great pleasure in the winding.