Thursday, August 17, 2006

Anticlimax

All that suspense for this most mundane piece of news: Once again, I'm not pregnant. I got that old familiar monthly red flag a few hours after my last post.

But this is why I kept you waiting: My usual Wednesday morning writing time was taken over by a mad dash and a nervous stomach, on my way to interview for an adjunct faculty position at a certain not-so-local University. I thought it a longshot, as I have no graduate degree, but lo and behold, after meeting with both the department head and the assistant dean, I was offered the Friday morning web design class, beginning September first. Chalk it up to right place, right time -- I think they were a teensy bit desperate -- but now my foot's in the door, and maybe next semester, I'll put in an application with the school close to J~'s.

For the first time in my life, I feel legitimate, with a real grown-up career-path job that I actually like, with real grown-up pay. Although freelancing can be lucrative, I've never done it steadily enough to believe each assignment I received wasn't just a stroke of blind luck, and I never liked it enough to want to put real energy into promoting myself as a freelance designer. (Abortion counseling, by the way, does NOT meet the grown-up pay requirement, not even close, although the work was more real and heavy than any other I've ever done.)

I drove home in a heightened state of emotion. After a brief chat with J~ and leaving voicemails for the few others whose numbers I could remember (my cell phone recently broke, taking a slew of contacts down with it), the happy-dance feeling wore off and I started to feel supremely alone with my milestone, and sad.

Just goes to show me, I guess, that every high has its corresponding low.

But it's the in-between moments, I think, that really tell the most about how we're doing. Whether we're coasting or plodding or struggling along on all that plain old level ground, keeping an eye out for the next catchable wave, there is rhythm, there is pleasure in work, there is the potential for camaraderie and creative thought. So onward, life companions! Make of this day something memorable.

5 comments:

chaos_girl said...

Sorry that AF showed up... Surprisingly enough (not)- I'm waiting on AF at the moment... Kinda, sorta. Miscarriage #3 was diagnosed on Tuesday- kinda expected it.

The job sounds awesome! I'd just love to get back into classes- I love college. I could be one of those old people with 30 degrees if I had the time.

So are you actively TTC next month or are you thinking of putting it off for a bit more? What's the plans?

Nico said...

Congrats on the new job, that's fantastic!

I am sorry about the cycle, but hopefully soon...

V said...

Congrats on the new teaching position! I totally agree with your view on freelancing.

Amy said...

chaos girl - oh no! I'm so sorry to hear that. Believe me, I know how awful it can be (with the first and second miscarriage, anyway. I would hate to experience a third. But I wouldn't be surprised either...) Anout ttc next month - Probably. I promise to fill you in next time I post.

Thanks nico, you must be getting ve-e-e-ry close. Are you nervous? Excited?

Thanks V, and good to hear from you V! Hope you are well. Drop me an email, update me!

SolarisGal said...

Hey Amy,
Wanted to drop by to congratulate you on your new position! I'm sure that you'll have lots of fun! I'm also sorry about the other thing - but... you'll succeed and soon!