Sunday, March 08, 2009

Recap and Reprise



Past and Future Ghosts, 11 x 17" gouache and ink on paper.
This piece will appear in an art show upcoming at Windham Arts Collaborative, in Willimatic, CT. If you're in the area, come to the opening reception on Friday, April 3rd. I'd love to see you! (Details here)

I began this blog shortly after my second miscarriage, which took place on a Wednesday night in November, 2005. I was at work when I knew for certain.

I worked as an abortion counselor.

I left the clinic early that evening, heading home to my hot water bottle and an empty apartment. (My husband, A~, was away on business.) Luckily, this loss was easier than the first - quicker, less painful. I could handle it on my own. The grief that followed was a hard but familiar terrain.

Shortly thereafter, my marriage shattered. After more than a decade together, it was a sudden and devastating break. I felt like I'd been run over by a truck: nauseous and heartsick and unable to breathe properly for months. At the same time, I felt freed of a great weight. A life I thought I could never endure (without A~) became a life full of promise. I wrote all about it on these virtual pages.

During this time, I was introduced to J~, who was struggling with a very similar life crisis. Three years (and, sadly, two more miscarriages) have come and gone. J~ and I are married - happily, to say the least. B~, my stepson, now in high school, is thriving.

Babies or not? It's still an open question, though it burns less urgently than it did when I began discussing it here.

Babies or not, life is good.

7 comments:

starrlife said...

That life crisis is what drew me to your blog but I've so enjoyed seeing your gorgeous artwork! I wish I could be at the gallery opening- how far is it from Brattleboro? That piece is especially beautiful!

Amy said...

Thanks, Starr!

It's about two hours driving, less if you're fast. Not impossible. It would be so great if you came! But it would be a trek.

Deborah said...

Hi--I just wanted you to know that I had 5 consecutive miscarriages, all in the first trimester, and now have a healthy 11 month old son. I was 41 when I had him. So, don't lose hope! I had acupuncture before and during the pregnancy, and employed some techniques of "The Secret" also. Feel free to contact me, it's a looong story, but if you need any more info, please do! Also, I love your artwork!

r3 said...

That collage is gorgeous. You are just brimming and running over with creativity and life force.

Glad to hear life is good.

Amanda said...

Thank you for sharing with us on these virtual pages. Your artwork is inspiring. Bless you in all that you do.

Patty said...

More proof that time does indeed heal wounds, even if it doesn't close them completely.

r3 said...

and I realize it's not a collage--sorry about that. Stupid computer monitor.