Saturday, February 16, 2008


Spent yesterday evening with three women friends:

S~ is thirty-three and eight months pregnant with her third child (I conceived the pregnancy that became my third miscarriage at the same time).

M~is fifty and letting go of a longtime expectation that one day she'd adopt a Chinese daughter, moving on to finding excitement in her life's work.

D~, after a decade of infertility, two failed IUIs, and Clomid treatments for both herself and her low sperm motility husband, went on to have three healthy boys without any medical intervention at all.

Just goes to show me, every uterus has a story.

And this morning I spoke to a woman I am just getting to know who has two children, age 13 and 15. She mentioned that she is 52-years-old. Which means she had her first child at thirty-nine. I don't know her story (yet), but I am reminded that I'm not quite thirty-eight, that a full year from now I will still be not quite thirty-nine. Which reminds me that you never know what the future may hold. My own story may not be over yet.

I don't let myself think that very often.

Mostly, I think about work (there's been a lot of work lately), the possibility of graduate school (still waiting for the verdict on that), the fiction stories I want to write (there are several), and what I'm going to have for lunch (leftovers, of course).


Tiffany said...

You are so right that "every uterus has a story". Mine is one of those. I had my first at 36; lost my second at 38 and had my last at 39. I am now 41 and my life is better than I ever thought it could be. I went through the pain and expense of infertility for 12 years before giving up and becoming pregnant after being told to look at adoption. I became pregnant again quickly only to have my heart wrenched from my body 19 weeks and 4 days later. I again experienced joy when my youngest was born 14 months later. Sorry to be lengthy but I have read your blog since last spring and I haven't given up the hope that you will experience motherhood and if not will find some peace. I could share many more stories with you but I think I've rambled enough for now.

Portraits in Sepia said...

Today I am reading your blog after my second failed IUI attempt. I have to say that I felt a glimmer of hope in applying your words to me. That my story may not be completely written just yet. I am 37, soon to be 38 and my husband turns 40 this year. It's been a depressing day for both of us but I am glad to have found your blog.

Anonymous said...

I just discovered your blog and it is so well written. I think in your post you got the math wrong. The woman had her youngest child at age 39. Both of my grandmothers had children in their forties. I had my first at age 37 and twins at age 39 - naturally conceived. Lots of people do have children at an older age, but lots have trouble, too. You never know where life will take you.