Tuesday, September 26, 2006
I'm still in the coccoon, but there are changes afoot: Though I have nightmnares about my ex, (I had one last night) and still cry, on occasion, over him, I'm mostly happy, finding my rhythm with work, the house, my man and his boy. I'm getting there.
In fact, this morning, as B~ (the boy) opened the door to leave for school, he blew a kiss to me at the computer. He's a sweet kid. I get hugs and kisses from him regularly, so this was nothing new. I didn't have to break my stride at the keyboard to return the gesture. It is brand new, however, for him to call out, "love you!" For this, I put my hands down and turned fully to face him, thoughtfully marking the occasion, saying--what else?--"I love you too."
Yesterday, I overheard T~, the local school counselor / window and door guy ask B~ if I was his mother.
"She's my sort-of step-mother," B~ said.
"Your sort-of step-mother?" came the inquiring reply.
"Yeah," B~ answered, leaving T~ to wonder.
I'm not sure quite what I am either, or what I'll be when I emerge from this transformative process, or what I'll be writing about, but at least I'm something already, if only sort-of something, and at least I'm not the only one who wants to know!