tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19133339.post383139556214832909..comments2024-01-17T01:15:41.107-05:00Comments on Babies or Not: Magical ThinkingAmyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11138395551574894313noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19133339.post-25052278965032467112009-01-23T22:15:00.000-05:002009-01-23T22:15:00.000-05:00Amy - I've been reading you for years. I certainl...Amy - I've been reading you for years. I certainly don't want to interfere with your care...but consider a medicated IUI. Obviously this is up to you but...it is not so invasive and will help you ovulate properly. I'm all for natural and holistic methods but at our age going from point a to point b is wise... I'm not a pushy old broad just one with experience on this one (sadly). I'm at www.waytoomuchinformation.wordpress.com<BR/><BR/>Happy to offer any help, words of encouragement. You are a talented and thoughtful person (like I said, I've been reading your blog every week since you were about to divorce) so I consider you an old friend even though we never met! All the best to you. xoxoxo SuzanneSuzannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10134425229973348503noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19133339.post-83215348774132619362009-01-21T22:31:00.000-05:002009-01-21T22:31:00.000-05:00My RE, in his very matter-of-fact way, told me it ...My RE, in his very matter-of-fact way, told me it is harder to get someone pregnant than to keep them pregnant. <BR/><BR/>What I did -- and I by no means mean to suggest this is what you should do -- is give myself over to my RE. Yes, my body was not working right. Yes, I wanted it to "work" so I could have a baby "naturally" without a lot of medical intervention during the pregnancy. Then the second miscarriage happened, and something in me broke. I wanted a baby more than I wanted to negotiate with my body and more than I wanted to have a baby the "right" way. It then became about playing the odds and upping those odds meant blood thinners, baby aspirin, and progesterone shots, in addition to my diet, herbs, and acupuncture. <BR/><BR/>I don't know what kept causing me to miscarry but I don't for one single second regret all the shots, all the "unnatural" interventions, when I look at my son. He is perfect and wonderful and he completes me in ways I could never have imagined. I don't care how long or by what means it took to get him here. He is the most natural thing I have ever done. <BR/><BR/>Having a child, I have come to realize, is not about you. It is not about how you want to do it; it is about how it is going to happen. I had to give up control (or the illusion of control) and reconcile with the fact that my body, on its own, could probably eventually carry a pregnancy to term. I was just unwilling, or emotionally unable, to go through any more miscarriages to get there.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19133339.post-84782974752198518222009-01-21T20:07:00.000-05:002009-01-21T20:07:00.000-05:00Hi Amy,Thanks for stopping by my blog. I understan...Hi Amy,<BR/>Thanks for stopping by my blog. I understand that place of "magical" thinking. After nearly 5 years of not producing a real live baby despite lots of trying (our one and only pregnancy ended in m/c), you'd think I'd just "let it go". But, somehow, each month, there I am feeling my breasts, looking for any hint of nausea, hmmm...do I feel more tired than usual?, etc., etc.. Always to be reminded that NO! I am pretty much impregnable. You would think I would have listened to the first RE who told us we had less than a 1% chance of getting pregnant on our own. But I for some weird reason keep thinking, "yes, but he didn't say we had NO chance..." <BR/><BR/>It's torture.Frenchiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07549739192754072138noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19133339.post-69323479326146966992009-01-21T19:49:00.000-05:002009-01-21T19:49:00.000-05:00Sorry if these seems redundant, but I'm thinking o...Sorry if these seems redundant, but I'm thinking out loud.<BR/><BR/>You still biologically have not been told any reason that you can't have children. So, considering you are not in menopause, then technically, you can get pregnant and perhaps keep a pregnancy. But as you've shown us, something happens between conception and development of a viable embryo or fetus.<BR/><BR/>Could it be as simple as taking blood thinner, like a baby aspirin a day? I don't know, I'm not an OBGYN, nor am I a reproductive endocrinologist. But if you really want to have a biological child, if this is high on your priorities, then wouldn't anyone in the same situation try to find out?<BR/><BR/>Sure, there might be no answer. Unexplained infertility exists. But from what little I know, it's rare.<BR/><BR/>Having said all that, I am in no way telling you what to do. That's up to you. I love the fact that you are honest about your ambiguity and that you aren't rushing to high-stakes solutions (triplets, anyone?) without some careful consideration.<BR/><BR/>My own situation is this--I had my first at 38, and I just turned 39. I'd love to have another. My beloved husband, not so much. So I'm learning to be zen with it and appreciate what I do have, and as you attest through your writing, it's hard. I appreciate your candidness and thoughtfulness.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19133339.post-60896008555723133262009-01-21T19:00:00.000-05:002009-01-21T19:00:00.000-05:00That's a beautiful post.That's a beautiful post.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19133339.post-90858742178156681502009-01-21T14:56:00.000-05:002009-01-21T14:56:00.000-05:00I'm so sorry things went badly with your doctor. T...I'm so sorry things went badly with your doctor. That just makes it all so much harder than it needs to be. <BR/><BR/>I've always (since I was a girl) had "around 50" as my end-date for having a baby because surely by then I'd have the family I always wanted or if not I'd know that I'd tried my hardest for as long as I could. But maybe I'm just putting off the inevitable. I'm 41; I have three living children, and ten who did not make it. I still want the large(r) family that I always wanted. Some dreams are just as hard to live with, as they are to let go of.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19133339.post-56706361404627531142009-01-21T10:08:00.000-05:002009-01-21T10:08:00.000-05:00Hi,I have polycystic ovaries but NOT PCOS. My RE i...Hi,<BR/>I have polycystic ovaries but NOT PCOS. My RE is a leading researcher on PCOS and he doesn't think I have PCOS. Apparently a set amount of healthy women wihout PCOS have ovaries that appear polycystic on ultrasound, but they have no ovulatory dysfunction, symptoms and their hormone levels are normal. If you want to google it try searching for PAO or "Polycystic Appearing Ovaries". It's actually a bit confusing because I've found some research that women with PAO but not PCOS have higher rates of miscarriage but they don't know why. But a quick google will help clear up the difference between PAO and PCOS. Hope this helps. Sounds like you don't have PCOS which is a good thing.J Sweethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17662253403116052079noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19133339.post-50544156502623378452009-01-21T09:32:00.000-05:002009-01-21T09:32:00.000-05:00I wonder if it's easier if one knows for sure they...I wonder if it's easier if one knows for sure they CAN'T get pregnant- there's definitely the opportunity for closure there, but oh, the loss! My neighbor has gone through this and my heart breaks for her.<BR/><BR/>I've been thinking a lot about hope (specifically around ttc). Is it better to be hopeful and then be disappointed, or better to be doubting but go around in a fairly constant state of negativity and possible despair? I don't know the answer, and I'm in the point of my cycle (just before IUI) where I am trying to decide which attitude to adopt for the next 16 days or so.Just mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19133339.post-49547467782317175622009-01-21T08:29:00.000-05:002009-01-21T08:29:00.000-05:00It's pure torture, I am sure. It seems like it wo...It's pure torture, I am sure. It seems like it would be easier if someone could just say, "no, you will never, ever get pregnant, no matter what you do." Then you could possibly get some closure. Instead you have the possibility looming month after month. I hope you get closure, in the form of a baby.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com