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I'm supposed to receive my final chemotherapy treatment on Friday. What a long road since I was diagnosed last October. Like a dream, a meandering, colorful, bad but poignant dream, it seems like it both took forever but also passed in an instant. Like a frame around a painting, setting it apart from anything else that might distract the eye, the preciousness of my life feels framed by this experience.
I am determined to find pleasure every day. To give up rushing, cramming one more task into each five minute increment, pushing myself relentlessly forward into the next accomplishment. At the same time, I am also determined to stay conscious of how I am passing my time. Accomplishment feels good when it's in proportion with rest and exercise and pleasant companionship.
For those of you coming up behind me on the cancer treatment path: I remember fearing food would never taste right again, that I would never again feel a joyous bubbling over of healthful energy. I am here to testify that both experiences are possible, even while chemotherapy is still in full-swing. Taxol is not Adriamycin. All chemo is not the same. Trust your own resilience. You will get your life back.